The idea of the ‘gentleman’ increasingly seems a thing of the past – a costume drama caricature, or an old fashioned toff whose connection to the present day is, at best, a pending #MeToo revelation.

Jon certainly held those prejudices until he was introduced to the work of Zach Falconer-Barfield, the man behind ‘The Perfect Gentleman’, who’s made it his mission to bring the best qualities of the well-rounded, Renaissance gentleman into our modern world.

We quiz Zach on what being a gentleman really means, from manners and style, to etiquette and honour. As he sums up, the key is ‘to make others feel at ease, even at expense to yourself’ – something which goes far beyond simple ideas of ‘masculinity’ and into being a socially-conscious person who lives and acts deliberately, according to a strong internal code.

But this is 2019. What about the crisis of masculinity? What about toxic masculinity? Isn’t a gentleman a dangerous thing to be in today’s world? Zach has a different take: we’re experiencing a crisis of gender. As thousand-year-old stereotypes and norms have increasingly unravelled in just a few decades, we’re only beginning to find our feet. And when we find our feet, we can also find balance: the balance of the ‘masculine’ and ‘feminine’ in each of us.

This is a far-reaching and far-ranging conversation about the human condition and our modern lives. Fundamentally, it is a conversation about respect: respect for oneself and respect for the people around us.


  • Manners vs. etiquette
  • Which James Bond was the most gentlemanly?
  • Reforming the education system
  • How the Victorians stifled our emotions
  • Practising deliberate style
  • Developing your personal honour

Find Out More:

Be Silly. Be Kind. Be Weird.

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