Who would you help to bury a body? Just how good a friend would they need to be?
Would they do it for you? How can you be sure?
Friendship is deeply human, but it’s something we frequently take for granted and make foolish assumptions about. It’s time to give it another, deeper look.
This episode, we debate what Stoicism has to tell us about true friendship, what trust really means, and how to build the personal bonds we want in our lives.
What do we even mean by ‘friend’, anyway?
Seneca thought that a friend is someone you trust as much as you trust yourself – but what does that really mean? Do you trust yourself? And why should we trust someone else with every part of our inner lives?
The English language doesn’t make enough distinction between close friends and casual acquaintances. And without clearer distinctions, we blur the boundaries and make fateful, harmful choices.
Sociological research tells us that some of the closest trust bonds are forged outside conventional society: by criminals, vagabonds and misfits. Inside society, we’re often too busy being polite to notice that we’re being taken for a ride (often by our own stupidity).
Trusting someone with your secrets isn’t the same as trusting them to turn up on time; trusting someone to have your back isn’t the same as trusting them to look after your kids. But do you take enough time to consciously consider the difference?
We explain how to craft a healthy, powerful friendship or relationship, and how so many people poison them from within. We break down the John Watson Dynamic and how it can simultaneously strengthen your own character and other people’s.
Jon shares how he’s learnt how to make better decisions about when to keep his cards close to his chest, and the time his friend’s dad decided to admit he had an affair (while en route to a strip club). Dre refuses to work out with Aubrey Marcus and reveals who he’d do jail time for (it’s not you).
- Different kinds of trust and how to pick the right one for every situation
- Remember: In the right circumstances anyone can betray you
- Why Americans are friendly – but only superficially
- Russian friendship and why it’s better
- A dirty secret: we all have best friends and parents all have a favourite kid
- Life Hack: Treat people how you want them to behave
- Don’t put your soul on the line for just anybody
Find Out More:
- Like us on Facebook to ask for the Audible download code
- The full text for free on WikiSource
- Tim Ferriss’s brilliant TED talk on ‘fear setting’ and Stoicism
- Ryan Holiday’s books on Stoicism: The Obstacle is the Way and The Daily Stoic
- Carsie Blanton‘s beautiful song, To Be Known
- And Carsie’s Kickstarter project, The F’n Truth
- Diego Gambetta, Codes of the Underworld